‘Hope is being able to see the light despite all the darkness’

It’s been a while… I’ve been wrapped up in a whirlwind of radiotherapy side effects, terrible twos and puppy shit, however today I feel like the mist has been lifted.

I had a check up appointment with my oncologist today after a few shitty weeks of nausea, sweating, pain & tiredness. He reassured me he thinks it’s just a mixture of things and that it should settle but he will keep an eye on things and that I’m ok… but this isn’t why I’m feeling slightly hopeful with life today…

At my last apt in September I asked whether I could get a second opinion on my situation from the Royal Marsden, it’s not that I absolutely don’t have faith in that Christie’s are doing everything they can for me, it’s just there’s no harm in trying everything I can, I mean it is my life after all 😂… my doctor was more than happy to sort this out for me as he used to work there and was all up for idea (probs just wanted to chat with his mates 😂)… but for him doing this for me, I’m so so grateful. The Marsden have told him of a new line of treatment that has been tested in New York and with themselves that has shown some success in treating/helping my type of Sarcoma (can you actually believe it?!).. there is actually some kind of hope, & that after being told so many times that chemo isn’t usually successful for cancers like mine, now there is something out there that could potentially help me?!? I felt a ray of sunshine beam over me and burst out my cheeks. My heart suddenly felt hope, something that I haven’t felt so much of recently (God this sounds so pathetic doesn’t it 😂)..

Now don’t get too excited lads, this is my shit show of a life remember 😂😂😂… He THEN dropped the bombshell that it’s actually not available on the NHS at the moment and it costs £100k to get it hahahaha, wtf 😂, BUT he’s having numerous conversations with the drug company to try make this available for me. What an absolute LAD. He’s deffo going on the Christmas card list.

So we will find out in due course whether I can have it available to me without getting David on only fans (obv kidding haha) or without getting Big Phil and co’s walking boots back on and doing another 80 miles😂😂.

Now to go clean up more puppy poop.

Rach x