Brain fog is real

Sorry I’ve not blogged in a while, whilst having treatment, my brain fog is just ridiculous, I feel like I can’t even write anything useful now, so during the last 12 weeks, it would have just been lines of shit and pure nonsense, not saying it won’t be now haha. I even attempted to start this blog last week and just gave up after the first few lines as I completely lost my train of thought and then fell asleep.

I’m just sat in my egg chair in the garden with a cuppa as Indies playing in the fairy tree at the bottom of the garden (she’s most likely eating bark and playing with Skyes shit, but I’ll make it sound nice) and I’m just having a moment and taking everything in…

I had my last treatment of the ‘nivo’ and ‘ipi’ immunotherapy drugs a couple weeks ago (I’ve had 4 rounds) before I have a scan to see if it’s working… the pressure I feel to know whether it’s working feels like a weight pushing me further and further down… more so as I’ve been so so lucky to have been able to fund this because of you lovely people, I’m now at the point like if it doesn’t work, what will you all think? Will you be mad at me? It’s so hard to try manifest the positive vibes before a scan, especially this one. Like come on body, give me a break and just work already.

Side effects from the drugs are pretty ok. The fatigue is something else.. usually hits me in week 3 and my eyes are just so heavy 24/7. I’ve required a lot of help from David and my parents as I genuinely will just fall asleep in the middle of having Indie because my body actually will not carry on. I’ve had increased pain, pretty much everywhere, but it isn’t constant, it comes and goes between the weeks and the docs said it’s pretty common at if the immuno is reaching my tumours then they will swell and hurt, so I’ve had all my meds upped so I’m officially a walking tablet/druggy. Oh and I’ve had to have my lungs drained about 4/5 times due to swelling and fluid build up there too..

But yeah side effects have been pretty ok!! Haha!

Just thought I owed it to you all to keep you updated in what’s been going on and to tell you all, I am in fact still alive 🙋🏻‍♀️ haha!

Let’s see what next weeks scans bring!

Rach x